David Gunn [composer, writer, isosogist]

Postcard parables are short stories that, for nearly a decade, I’ve written on the backs of postcard-size images and mailed to a person who I know only as Queen Quantoo. Thanks to a really teeny typewriter, I’ve managed to squeeze up to 450 words of crucial exposition onto a single card. New stories added every so often!

Acme TentCollectomometerKing BobOpen RangeTorobongo
Agent JetglasConvertinLake PortageOzzie and TanyaTrigger, Part 1
At CarnegieDear Patty (1)Leaf PeepersPhyllis’ TransformationTrigger, Part 2
Atomic Robot Corp.Dear Patty (2)Loch NessPied du GorilleTrigger, Part 3
Baby QuantooDoris’ PianoLoisPie R SquaredTuna P. Wiggle
BalloonmanDr. BeezerLongsnoutsPringler HatUlnuf
Bat MannEat At ...Louie LouieProfessor SmackoWhat You Want
Bicycle QueenEating RightLuluQueen QuantooWillie Sutton
Big GinghamEsther’s InheritanceMargeRed  TeamWobblies
Black BartFarmer BrownMascaramanRMS OlympicYarngirl
Blanche’s Bad DreamFirst AidMcGillicuddy SistersSedoña CactusZontamk, Part 1
Bonnie and ClydeFlora and FlossieMerle’s HeadacheSheilaZontamk, Part 2
BoondockFredMick RatSour GrapesZontamk, Part 3
Collette’s Big HatWhat’s Behind Rags?The Power of SuggestionSize MattersIn the Kitchen at Midnight
Boys in the BandFrom VentnorMiltStepford PlanThe Decapitamometer
Brad’s Bad DayGerardMoleTownThe FenceThe Pringler Call Center
Bud BottomsGert JonnysMoon MulletThe HairdresserStarbucks
BuddyFirst Contact 1
Mr. GaribaldiThe WhaleArmed and Dangerous
BunnysaursI’m MeltingMr. TelevisionThe ZenithThe Bubble Dome
Bunyip BedpansJacques SprattNinjasTidybowlmanNever-U-Fail
CementlandJim BangoOh, Noh!Tony the ToeCasa Shirley
Benö GuttmanPedro PiperThe PreventilatorThe Pringler ChimneysweeperThe Double As
That Lightheaded FeelingOr Best OfferClobber and FungieAquerulousTriomegunberg
OléThe SlugAt the BanketbakkerijThe BraincageThe McGillicuddy Backstory
Is that a Gun in your Pocket?The Great MalaxoBig EdSchwinndjammerSunhats
Bésame MuchoQueen Quantoo’s Change of LifeThe MMRLGretchen’s SongbirdsLa maison du nez
The HypnagogueDora the Demolition DancerHow Many Fingers?For better or for worseJulie and L’étrange
Caveat Emptor
Fidough and RoveRAqua NunThe Dog WhispererWhat Knot?
Fred and FredaThe SoothsayerThe Apple PickersFlorsheimWrongheadedness
The Kyphosis CureThe VentriloquistThe SomnambulistIdentical TwinsFunny Money
The Dish and the SpoonThe FlyThe PermCalamity at the Debutante BallWhat Lemuel Hath Wrought
Missfallen Sie nicht Ilse!The Third CorollaryConvert-a-Gender™Jarabe TapatíoThe Windows of Luigi Peccadillo
NoraAcme Adult Diaper Co.Personal SecretaryMeptang, Merchant of ChainsJumbo’s Blind Date
ForkmanRobin’s EggsThe AcupressurerEye of the HurricaneCaptane Jujjoo
Nettie and BettyEdna Sue and the DNCRHow Big?PotheadNo Complainer, He!
The Drac-u-LatteThe Perfect LikenessThe Iceman ComethLola Palooza AirwaysNutri-Clyster
Next AvailableThe WoxesDuck and CoverThe RockettesClear Enunciation
High SocietyThe TransferatronSilver QueenCloak and DaggerAcme Dance Partner
The VasectomizerLaksheeshSpoonful of HoneyThe LiposuctionizerDr. Pincatcher’s Legacy
The Class ProjectThe DowserCollateral DamageThe ManicureThe First Step
JawsJeevesQueen of the NightKing Sullivan’s MineThe Brand in Demand™
Worlds Funniest JokeDing!SkeetersFlingspearingOut-of-Body
The ExpandomometerAt Chez KibbleDalton versus BrutusSecret Shriner HandshakeEsther
FluffyAcross the SteppesJulie JupiterAn Embarrassing MomentWorlds Greatest Wiper
Goo Goo GjoobThe Daring DinklakersThe Zaparo BrothersMultitaskingLes Flambeaux
Alfred Eisenstatic
The Hyper-eyeballometerThe Mobile Phone
A Fish StoryHead in a Tuba
The CarneyThe Flamboni WayKitchen MagicianThe Venus FlydressBoxing Day
The Preakness, 1956Pickleberry JamYou Are Getting ... SleeeepyThe Everly BrothersEarly Gort
The Boy Who Walked on WaterWhither the Crumbsnatcher?Lot’s LotPoint and ShootToast
Forrest amongst the TreesTransformerThe Model 5Amazing AmeliaRingaround
S+R÷T=VGCarspottingThe First PDATweet!Newton’s Third Law
Group of TenChester and NikitaMinnie and Mickey IMinnie and Mickey IIThe Foot Warmer
ContretempsFloatersMerit BadgesThe Best ThingsIn the Eye of ...
The OnsetThe PoundometerEmpirical DataThe Pipe CleanerCrabby Old Lady
Le Big Boyl’Ecran MagiqueAnt Farm WeekendThe PenThe Dirty Bird
Madame ZaborgaEternal MasculinityElectric ShoesAdvantage: AcrocephalyTripudio Oculus
KetchumThe EQsSweet RevengeA Conchous DecisionThe Yukonians
All Sales FinalCuticulum EnlargibilisCow VowsAcute Vasomotor FlushFat Man
Proceed To Fire!I ♥ What?!BobbyLeave it to CleaverDie Falschen Nasen
Be Careful ...Dial-A-HypnotistOn the RoadWhich Came First?Lawn Darts circa 1966
Free KickLittle AudreyCatch It If You CanDrink Dinklaker TeaSuitcase Living
Exceedingly Hand-someSentience SentryEighth and SycamoreWaiting for You-Know-WhoThe Clockhat
MyrnaThe Swan MaidenPinocchio: The Later YearsThe Man of 1,000 FacesTuesday Welder
The MultitaskerBuffalolandSmack in the ZaknobOn the StepsMickey Mouse Mob
Acme Turbo BathGen. Tso’s ChickenPrelude to GuernicaWorld’s Biggest SneezeThe Krocwich
CanklesFred and Ginger 1Fred and Ginger 2Ups and DownsAt the Borborygmus Ball
Taxi-dermyPoint, Shoot, and CheerFirst Contact 2SheepladyThe Acme Hairnet
Brad’s BarbecuesThe BlemtaurFirst Contact 3Canadian BrassJack + Jill
RudolphThe Kitchen MagicianFirst Contact 4The Jungle CruiseThe Model 2
An Unethical ExperimentDoctors Without InternesEeeeeee!BatmanThe Model 3
Ethel and the MermanThe New HireLe crachoir électriqueAt the Car Wash InstituteFrom Humble Beginnings
Sumo-CatDECCBlame it on LolaGirl in the MoonFerrante and Teicher
El Sapo GordoIn a Foreign Nasal CorridorThe Fall of London BridgeVeni, Vidi, ViciBirth of the Lightsaber
One Two, One TwoThe Breema ManipulationBabyfaceThe Master CamouflagerThe Avid Fisherman
Acme Pencil Sharpening Co.The Divine Joe LewisObliterato vs. AudreyLaunch of the Cruise MissilesYou Get What You Pay For
There was an old woman ...Bongo FeverThe Footwear FilcherThe White Mud of MinskLe Lapin Puissant
InvisibatonBaker’s ManStatues Ain’t So SmartMore Collateral DamageThe Scapegoat
Godzilla: The Early YearsLemon QueenThe Higgs BosonEarl the HurlWhen Hamsters Conquered the Earth
No Pain, No GainJerome’s Driving TestThe BrismanBring It On!Homo Squirrelli
1500 p.s.i.Travel RestrictionsWhen GPS Units Go BadWhat Bob FeltThe Stretch-o-Matic
The DistractionThe Once Promising SpookHow to Serve PancakesThe Brothers HasenpfefferThe Gagman
The American WayMonstrosisThe Chain SmokerForm Follows FunctionA.k.a. Robert Zimmerman
BaitHeart SurgeryEl Brazo RectoThe Dinklaker EffectThe Diorama
Right vs. WrongThe DonorThe AestheticianThe CrocodilogistShuffleboard: The Beginning
The Bat-chydermMel and SheebaEva’s Housecleaning ServiceDer Yodel-OffGladys Ginormous
The DDDDetectorThe Number 6The Proto-AirstreamWind NoiseThe Shoeshine
At the Hair StylistThe Carpus-Bearing ClockEnidWhen worms fell from the skyAt Santa’s Laboratory
GobsmackedA Barrel of LaffsMrs. GodzillaThe Best Barber in the WorldBernard
The Hair Salon and Body SpaThe Original Odd CoupleYucca FlatThe TambourinistasJe ne sais quoi
Dapper DanBirdThe KnitterJoyce, Jeannette, and MonicaThe Lamprey Liberation League
The Merry MenHypocrisyGrapefruit QueenYin and YangThe Broomers
NormanThe New Food CourtDistracted DrivingOopsWhence the Red Nose?
Cousin EnidThe MoltaphantThat Fateful SaturdayPie in the SkyParallel Parking
The TestimonialsThe TakeoverDo the Hokey-PokeyOl’ SquintyAttention to Detail
The Dinky DinklakerThe DinkbotsMother GooseJack and Jill IVWynken Blynken, and Nadine
Dewey’s DiscombobulationCar No. 13Saving SpaceDisneyland: The BeginningBlue Bonnet
Help, Help!The ChairmanAlbuminoid Pingo DingbackThe Oculoplastic SurgeonEarn Big Money!
HuitzilopochtliFlossingVikki and the ViksensThe GrindstoneZap Trap
Paris ElectriqueThat Savory GlazeBigfootRigor CrusCoyotepuncture
Heimlich’s ManeuverClean SweepWhen Cheerleaders Fell from the SkyThe AngelsAnother Chance
Wartgirl6' 10½"?Double ActionKlukkendanzExtemporaneous Urban Forager
Larry + EnidLilliputitisBest FriendsChampion CartwheelerThe Once Consummate Waitress
Drip DryThe EdicycleYet Another ChanceThe Mark IVShark Deterrent
The ChaperoneEarl SmorgasbordWorse Than HivesRule 15The Beulah
The Long RueBinkyMolto DiabloApproach, Flight, EntryLittle Eva
Faithful FidoWelcome WagonTongularum ConelliRematch!The Oft Fickle World
BobThe Penguin SpellbinderSuture SelfThe A-6Truth in Advertising
FlyingFlying SchoolWhere is Billy?Sixty RublesBeware ...
The RecordThe ConductorThe Evolution of InventionDeidreTango Nuevo
De Rit in de KistRoom 81Joey JetlinerMaking DoThe Great Malaxo Returns
Konfetti Gesellschaft WiesbadenThe Medusa EffectThe Great Malaxo 3Et Tu, Rahway?Scale of Stinky Fish
Caveat Emptor ReduxGo Excelsior!Get DownThe Bosco BrothersQuakeskis
The Kansas Grand PrixThe JudgeHey, Look!SnakesCollateral Damage II
Dig It!Le TourUsing His HeadWho Knew?!Eunice
SkullpJerome P. TablaWillie, the Flying WhaleIncognitoArthur P. Toscanini
The BlackburnsBartholomew P. WolfFred + Ginger IIIThe WormhuntersAttila’s Gastronomic Legacy
FuryBefore the SeatbeltDances With GoatsPotquid Nam TruffglogXotquid
OOO to the RescueA FootnoteThe X NoteAbuseBye-bye, Brad
TrumpetitisFreefallThe Multi-ductorDon’t Drink ’n DriveThe Sunken Cathedral
Sabre DanceThe Conduct-o-matic68 in; 67 outPractice, Practice, PracticeMr. Jakkboxx
FedgeThe Dog-a-pultShingle Shortage ConsequencesBuffalo BillPsoriasis Pringlerellum
Shoes and HandbagsMadge and BadgerHyperflexionWaffle MusicSpecialization
Sinfonia ArtarcticaThe Octet, First TryThe Octet, Second TryDeluxe DipilatorThe Unlobster
RatatouilleThe KB Mark IVBrains!Better Sans BatonMastering the Pentagram
Bermuda TrianglesThe RhinotillexisicistLa Mer: The Real StoryThe RemedyThe Real Miss Muffet
The BeetlesI Can Fly!FriedThe Drumstick’s StoryThe Squashed
Some Damn PandaThe EyeballotomyNIMBYMtumbaStaying Upright
The TypewriterBark vs. BiteThe Original Night VisitorsThe HypermegahornD.S.I.S.
FudgeThe AcousticiansPringwarm DinklaswamiOverengineered?That Pesky Third Law
The MacaquekazeDon’t Mess with MükremimSanta Out of SeasonBig KenCecile
The Pajama CourierThe  Blade-O-BuickSwan LakeThe SuppositorGood Intentions
Dolly LlamaZelicious and ZavoryGuptilI PiccioniGadzook
The BusboyOn ThursdaysA Hard Fiscal ChoiceShinnnns!Violintusoribus
Engaged!The TipThe Untimely SprainLorna and LeoKolme Sokea Hiiri
PeepzillaVoicemail’s Original VoiceThe Young Jack RipperThe NunerizerStielhandgranaten
The ShadowgraphersThe AppleseederBad KarmaTrumpetor JumbolorumMiss Lightbulb
Mugplog to the RescueThe Best of Times ...The Fightin’ NarwhalsBlack Tie and TailsFrankencollie
The DeprogrammeeGraveyard of the ChairsStan, the Steelpan ManLonken-tom SyndroomAlfredo’s Head
The Marshmallow KingBrain FoodWhistler SistersAdvantage: HouseOh, those Fingertips!
The M-PhoneWhen Roads were for SheepThis Is/Was Your LifeRadio ActivityFactory Fresh
Judo MenudoRead the Fine Print!The Delinquent MinersIn YeghegnadzorThe Bends
Uncured Like HamValet ParkingMeet The ComposerThe FlatusophonistThe Bartered Bride
A Relative TermThe DIY RPGPerfect TimingA Million BucksBowser. And Meptang.
Where’s Dobbin?The Rule BreakersThe Trouser TestersThat Anosmia EdgeMesocyclone in C Minor
Jascha’s RevengeThe Flying FrenchmanBig DennyIsabelle UnconvincedThe Clamorphone
The Swan of Jim Bob TuonelaThe AllergyAttacca!The Bat GirlsZarpox
Inflation ServicesThe AuditionThe Rats in the WallsEnrico Robinson CarusoStop the Music
Spicy!Overcoming ShortcomingsAmaurosis stupidulumPoor Angus!Andrea Segovia
The NovaLive and LearnPagliacci MaleThe WarningGrotta Alitosi
Market ResearchThe Elk Tamer32 ft/s²BobnakThe Shout Out
Viva DCAThe Cause of Trismus RevealedThe Handicap100 HeadphonesThe Typo
Where’s Hamish?The Mark VINo-U-Steer®Head on a StickFuna-zushi
WillardPringler Quality Hat RacksThe IllumbatonOld Habits Die HardThose Extra Nutrients
Fred + Ginger IVTrio AusoniaDon’t pooh-pooh the jujuAunt MeptangThe Birdbath
The Ethnic CleanerFredcrowIncident in Row WNeoplasms DownLulubelle’s Remarkable Talent
Only YuThe ShiftboggerShow and Tell DayYvonneWhen Not to Salivate
After a Hard DayThe LikenessBefore SockyAt the Big Red TieSticking It Out
Beulah PavarottiPumpkinThe RiesenklavierThe Mighty MeptangsShuffle-Off
Notes from the JournalWay OutHow to DingThe Human PiñataThe Human Loudspeaker
Pringlerville GardensEscape from AlcatrazKronos: The Early YearsCan You Catch It?!Valkyrie Sky Ride
NexusTwo Measures EarlyWith PassionThe MacArthur FellowIf a tree falls ...
Perchance to DreamThe GibichungsThe Witness TampererShake it All AboutDinklaker Quality Instruments
In from the ColdGuess Who ...The MuteUrsine Valet ParkingThe Big Bass Drum
The Berlioz BellesThe NoseCricket(s)LeggierissimoNot 57 Minutes
EmilRegretInside the BoxFirst Man on Mercury9 + 6